Speak Now
by TehBrovakiin
Summary: After the defeat of Arclight and the fall of Simeon Cruz tries to tell Eve how he feels. too bad Gido is having her and Blade get married. Me thinks it's time for bad and insensitive jokes and wacky hijinks and hilarity to ensue. rated M to be safe
1. You Want Us To WHAT!

**My first fan fiction. I love NEEDLESS, so of course it pisses me off to only have 4 NEEDLESS fictions altogether on this site. So my first few stories will be on NEEDLESS. Particularly Cruz/YamadaxEve. Flames are welcomed and wanted. **

**Speak now **

**Ch:1 You Want Us To WHAT? **

"You look pretty gross man. Let me fix you right up"

At these words the priest, Adam Blade smashed his forehead into the face of the transformed Simeon head, Adam Arclight, connecting their Zero Fragments an causing a RRR. Arclight screamed as his own barrier began to work against him. In a flash… it was finally all over. As Eve, Cruz, Gido, and the rest waited in anxiety for the dirt and dust to settle a lone figure approached them. Blade had won.

**A/N: just to let you know the dialog will be in script. If it doesn't work please tell me**

The group returned to the old church where Blade resided.

Mio: YAY, Onii-san beat Arclight-sama

Blade: I sure did. Now don't you think I deserve a reward

He makes the creepy gestures he made at her when they first met. Eve, Cruz, Gido, and Uchida appear behind him with weapons menacingly

4above: Idea rejected

Blade: Aww, shit

Blade backs off from his Loli attempts and goes to sit on a couch. Setsuna and kuninaschi go off to be lesbians. Solva goes off to plan to **TAKE OVER THE BLACK SPOT**. Seto goes of to be emo. Disc goes off to do robot things. Cruz goes of to make dinner and Uchida follows him.

Uchida: soooo, Yamada when are you going to tell Eve

Cruz: tell her what

Uchida: (_Casually_) That you love her

At this Cruz slips off the stool he was standing on an bumps his head.

Cruz: (Flustered, not even trying to hid it) How do you know about that!

Uchida: AHA! You do like her. Plus, Dude, it was obvious. We all saw the look on your face when Setsuna stripped her to show the implant on her body then started to molest her

Cruz: But you were dead

Uchida: I woke up because of the lesbian HAWTness

Cruz: but she's going after Mr. Priest

Uchida: so, tell her any way and she'll be all over you in five seconds

Cruz: she can't even remember my name

Uchida begins to open his mouth, but Cruz cuts him off

Cruz: (suddenly happy) DINNERS READY

At the table Blade begins to make advances on Solva and Setsuna who had the misfortune of sitting next to him. Both girls respond by stabbing him with spoons

Blade: this is physically impossible

Gido sits back and clears his throat

Gido:(seriously) Blade , I am afraid you must stop hitting on girls

Blade: huh, but why

Gido: To be blunt, you and Eve must get married

At this everyone does a spit take, Disc can not compute, and Cruz faints

The last thing he sees is Eve. Her face taken aback with joy

Cruz: _Eve_

**That's all for now people. Please review and leave your comments. Shroom signing out**


	2. Tailors And Planners And Guests, Oh My

**Shroom is back baby. Time to read on about Yamada and co wacky wedding adventure**

**Chapter 2: tailors, planners, and guests, oh my**

Everyone gathers around Cruz trying to wake him up wondering how he fainted.

Uchida: oops, I accidentally spilled some of this poisonous chemical in Yamada's food[ produces deadly poison from pants] I better take him upstairs and revive him

He drags Yamada up the stairs to his room. He begins to slap Yamada with a trout until he wakes up, then continues to slap him.

Cruz: why are you hitting me with a trout

Uchida: the tuna wasn't fresh enough. So man , you okay

Cruz:( _sarcastically_) lets see, today I found out my sister was evil, almost got killed by tentacle sex, turns out I'm a character clone of some whiny kid who likes drills far too much, the woman I love is getting married to the man I'll never be, and I got slapped with a trout. So yeah, I'm just _fucking_ peachy

Uchida: okay, just checking

**Several days later**

The church has been renovated for the wedding. A planner bursts through the doors with a clipboard

Planner: hey guuuuuyyyyssss, I'm Leeron, your wedding…[notices Cruz] well aren't you just one little cutie

Uchida: oh god, the planners gay

Solva: … and a pedo

Leeron: Anywho, the theme for your wedding is tropical paradise

Blade: aww, but I wanted lots of giant robots

Uchida: and booze

Blade: and babes

Leeron: and Simon licking whipped cream off Kamina's…

Everyone: o_0

**The next day**

The guests begin to arrive

Eve: ooooooh, Blade-Kun look the guests are here

The first guests to enter are….. the four strongest of simeon?

Saten: HEY GUYS, I'M NOT DEAD

Blade: SATEN, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE

Eve: I thought it would be a good idea to invite all of our old friends

Everyone but eve and saten: BUT THEY'RE NOT OUR FRIENDS

Uten walks in

Eve: didn't I drill a hole the size of Rosie o donnels pussy through you

Uten: I survived, THROUGH MAGIC

_Chirp, chirp, chirp_

Uten: okay, I dragged my self out to the street where some testaments found me

Riru enters

Setsuna and mio: ( fan girl squeals)RIRU-SAMA

Riru: hello girls

Arclight enters

Arclight: Riru, why must I carry your …. Oh… hello blade

Blade: Arclight… how are you

Arclight: fine. I signed on to be a actor for a video game

Blade: oh… that's nice

Arclight: I play some guy named Dante who goes around killing demons, showing sexual intent to little girls, and battles his identical twin brother who has a god complex and wants to destroy the known world

Blade: déjà vu

Aruka enters. Cruz comes down stairs

Cruz: SISTER

Saten: YAMADA(envelops in bear hug, then quietly and smugly) So… I banged your sister last night

Cruz: Oh ha-ha Saten, real mature

Saten: I'm serious

Cruz notices the blush on Aruka's face

Cruz: No… NO. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU UNGRATEFUL SKANK

Solva: now Yamada, calm…

Cruz: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS SOLVA

Seto: Yamada

Cruz: SHUT UP, ONLY EVE CAN CALL ME THAT

Cruz runs out the door crying. Awkward silence

Blade: so Eve, who _else_ did you invite

Eve: every one in the world

Blade: WHAT

Eve: except Uwe Boll

Blade: Oh… OK then

**THE NEXT DAY**

Eve goes to get fitted for a dress a go shopping. Since no one wants to go with her she drags Cruz along. Oh boy

Cruz: Eeeeeeve, pick a store already

Eve: But there's so many

Eve begins to scan her eyes around until her eyes land on a sign

Eve: ooooooh, a _secret _.

Cruz: what are you talking about

Eve: the secret of some girl named Victoria

Cruz's nose begins to gush blood. Notices conveniently placed bar.

Cruz: on second thought I'm thirsty. Come get me when your ready to go get fitted

Cruz runs away

**Inside the bar**

Cruz walks up to the bar and takes a stool. The only people at the bar area is the barkeep and a barfly lying on the bar

Cruz: Give me the hardest you got

The bartender hands Cruz a super gel dero doron drink

Barfly: give me another one

Bartender: sir, I think you've had enough

Barfly: I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH(mood swings)no… wait , wait, wait… I'm sorry I snapped at ya

Cruz: Wow, he's pretty drunk

Bartender: all he's had is milk

Barfly: PRINCESS(sobs)

C&BT: WTF

(**A.N, Give you 3 guesses who the barfly is, and the first 2 don't count)**

Barfly: I screamed and I shouted but she didn't turn. She turned for SVEN though. All I got was the guy that killed my family. I was even the guy that saved her but did she love me. NO. she called for SVEN. She loves SVEN

At this point Eve bursts in

Eve: YAMADA(notices his drink)ooooooh(takes drink and downs it with one gulp)anyway I need your help picking out swim suits for the honeymoon

Cruz tries to escape but Eve grabs him and begins to drag him outside

Cruz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (to bartender)SAVE ME, PLEASE

The men in the bar only shake their heads in pity as Cruz is dragged out. He tries to grab the door frame but only ends up ripping it out. The door slams shut and silence follows until Cruz's scream pierces the air

Scream: AAAUUGGHHHHHH

The men shudder in fear and pain as they can only imagine what has befallen him and the bartender makes a crucifix on him self

Let this be a warning to ye all with dicks, abandon all hope…. In the woman's apparel

**AT THE TAILOR'S**

Eve has been fitted and is trying on pre-made dresses before she decides to have one custom made.

Tailor: Madam, zat lookz quite stunning on vou

Eve: (ecstatic) really, then I'll take it. Even if it Isn't a wedding dress

Cruz: Eeeeeeeeve, that's the twentieth dress

Eve: calm down Yamada

Tailor: just a few more monsieur, please

Cruz: fine

E&T: YAY

Eve rushes away to try on another dress

Cruz: she's gonna drive us bankrupt

Tailor: I love my job

Eve comes back. Cruz begins to blush red, gets a nose bleed, and feels funny "down under"

Cruz: put that back

Eve: B-but

Cruz: NOW, I'm not letting you wear that. EVER. If you buy it, I will burn it. Do you understand me

The dress is little more than a lingerie. Eve nods frantically and hurries away. She comes back and the new dress makes her look cuter than the other one. Except more proper

Eve: I know it's not a wedding dress, but I really like it. Can I get it please

Cruz: S-sure

Eve: thanks Yamada

She leans in and gives Cruz a peck on the cheek. She signals the tailor to follow her so she can get fitted, leaving Cruz with a blush on his face holding his cheek. The tailor comes back some time later

Tailor: zat is quite ze woman. You must be proud to marry her, no

Cruz:(flustered)Oh no…. we're not… I …umm… I'm gonna go see what's taking her so long

He hurries to the changing room and opens the door. Eve is standing there diagonal to the wall. Her "assets" partially showing. She notices Cruz and quickly turns around and covers her self

Eve: Guh- GET OUT

Cruz quickly shut the door and turns away… Aaaaaand then he faints. The last thing he remembers his the shape of Eve's "assets"

Cruz:_ Oh yeah_

**Whew, that was long**

**Apparently it's illegal to not post a disclaimer at the beginning of every chapter. So what. Are the feds gonna come and break down my…**

'**door breaks down'**

**Feds: THERE HE IS. GET HIM**

**Oh SHIT. Looks like I gotta fight my way out of this one**

'**grabs Soul Edge'**

**FOR JINGLAND**

**Shroom signing out**


	3. Cheesy And Pointless Dramatic scene

**Ugg, that was some fight. I'm still cleaning fed blood off my Goggles, and all because I didn't put a disclaimer. **

**So, to avoid any more trouble I got this**

'**points to wriggling sack'**

**Everyone meet**

'**rips sack open'**

**YOSHI****!**

**Yoshi: Hillard what am I doing here**

**Hillard: your mum, now read this**

**Yoshi: give me one good reason**

**Hillard:(Pulls out Soul Edge) reason #1**

**Yoshi: 8- Bit Shroom Doesn't own Needless**

**Ch.3: the really cheesy and pointless drama scene**

Cruz and Eve returned home. As Cruz enters he notices Aruka and Saten sitting on the couch

Aruka: brother, sit down… we need to talk

Cruz:(sits down)what is it

Aruka: well…err…umm…you see…I-I'm pregnant

Every one does a spit take even though nobody had any thing to drink

Arclight: but the only one you had "it" with was…

Every one looks at Saten

Cruz: YOU MOTHER FUCKER. HOW DARE YOU SOIL MY SISTERS BODY IN SUCH AWAY. NOT ONLY DO YOU MAKE HER UNPURE, BUT YOU FORCE HER TO BEAR YOUR DEVIL SPAWN,TOO(to Aruka) Don't worry sis, we'll get it out of you

Aruka: actually brother, I plan on keeping his "devil spawn"

Cruz: WHAT! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME…AGAIN

Eve: YAMADA! You should be happy

Cruz: YOU SHOULD BE THE VERY LAST PERSON TO TELL ME WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY

Eve: why's that

Cruz: BECAUSE YOUR NOTHING BUT AN OBLIVIOUS DITZ

Eve: you better calm down Yama-

Cruz: DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT NAME YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT IN STRIPPERS CLOTHES

Eve:(hurt)I hate you

No one can see Cruz's eyes because his hair is casting a shadow.

Cruz:(quietly) Go to hell

He turns and runs upstairs. Eve begins to feel bad and calls for him

Eve: Cruz, wait…

All she hears is his bedroom door slamming. Her eyes begin to water and she turns and runs out the door.

Cruz flung him self on his bed

After a while he began to doze off. The last thing he thought was

_My name, she finally said my real name_

**Well Yoshi how did you like- hey where are you**

'**notices Yoshi playing Devil Kings on the PS2'**

**WHERE THE HELL DID THAT PS2 AND COPIE OF DEVIL KING COME FROM**

'**pushes Yoshi aside and starts playing'**

**Yoshi: but I had a thousand kill streak and was about to beat Nobunga**

**Shroom signing out**


	4. No Script And A Bar

**MwaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH**

**I have returned with more speak now, readers**

**enjoy Cruz's suffering at the hands of Eve rather than Solva this time**

**THIS IS A TRANSITION**

Chapter 4: No more script and a bar

**THISISATRANSITION**

When we last left Cruz he has just fallen asleep after a confrontation with Eve, resulting in Eve running off and Cruz guilt tripping himself to sleep.

When Cruz woke up he was surrounded by Blade, Uchida, Solva, Seto, And the PGS.

"What do you guys want" He asked bitterly. He tried rolling over but Mio kept him forced on his back.

"Look man, we know you're upset, but you went a little too far today" Uchida scolded. Cruz looked guilty but stayed silent.

"You really hurt Eve, Cruz-Chan" Setsuna said "She ran off somewhere"

"I know I did, but..." He began "She's been hurting me too"

At This point Blade, who had been mostly silent stood up and slammed his fist on Cruz's wall. His outburst startled everybody and left a good sized hole in the wall giving a not so good view of Uten working "Magic" on the toilet.

"So your just gonna leave it how it is Yamada" Blade said in disgust "Your just gonna let her leave. I think you've changed Cruz. Yamada would already be out there searching for her. You're just moping around in self pity like God damn Shinji Ikari. Actually, no that's too harsh, Shinji would have gone Berserker by now. I may not be a perfect man, but God damn me if I'm going to let my two best friends hurt each other. So get out and find her, and if you don't, don't come back at all."

As soon as Blade finished his rant Cruz Leapt out of bed and began dressing

"Damn Blade, I'm impressed" Setsuna exclaimed

"Sleep with me?" Blade asked hopefully

Blade found himself flying out the window shortly after

"Not THAT impressed, huh"

**THISISATRANSITION**

Cruz had been darting back and forth through the town hoping to find Eve. He hadn't found a single trace of her and was quite exhausted. He took a break to collect his bearings when he noticed something.

He was in front of the conveniently placed bar from the entire shopping fiasco. His throat was rather dry and someone might have seen Eve in there.

He made his way to the bar and sat down. The bartender noticed him, smiled softly, and handed him another Dero Doran drink

"Hey buddy, still alive I see, a little glum, but alive"

Cruz nodded and asked about Eve

"Nah, she hasn't been here, most ladies don't come in during 'happy' hour"

Cruz looked around and saw that most of the patrons were indeed, men. At one table two young yet grizzled looking boys. the first one had really crazy hair and seemed rather modest. The other had dark skin and a small cross shaped scar under his chin...and was also dead drunk.

"Man, I tell ya, I fucking hate Mithiral's 'code of conduct' crap. If I want to do my girlfriend I shouldn't have to act like Solid fucking Snake. We had to do it in an Arm Slave last time. Kinky, I know, but Mel fainted today when she saw the condition of her cockpit. It's a big fucking sneaking mission for one go. Ya know what I mean Layfon." The drunk one complained before taking a swig of beer "Not to mention that bitch and her giant paper fan"

"Souske, you do know every military has rules against having a relationship with your superior officer, right, especially your captain, who is only barely legal mind you." Crazy hair responded "And no, I wouldn't know because Felli never lets me have sex with her"

Cruz turned toward the bar again when someone sat down next to him. Cruz turned to look at him and was filled with awkwardness when he recognized the milk drunk barfly from before. The barfly ordered his milk and turned to Cruz

"Oh, hey" He started awkwardly "Sorry you had to see me like that kid"

"It's cool" Cruz replied

"Name's Heartnet, Train Heartnet" The older man said "I'm going through a bit of a rough patch with this girl, but it won't happen again, I promise"

**THISISATRANSITION**

"I don't know how you do it Train, but you do" The bartender exclaimed angrily "I'm not giving you anymore 10%"

"PRINCESS, COME BACK" Train wailed "I NEED YOU"

"God damn it train" Layfon yelled "She's 17, You're 32"

Cruz sipped his second drink in minor amusement at the scene of the bartender and two patrons (One of which was drunk off his ass) trying to talk sense into an even drunker assassin turned mercenary turned lolicon.

The doors swung open and a new face entered

"Hey guys"

The others shot up in excitement at the arrival of the skinny boy in a school uniform. Even Train seemed miraculously sober

"SHINJI" They all exclaimed

"Hey Shin-Man, the usual?" The Bartender asked

"Actually guys, I came here to tell you that I'm not allowed to come here anymore" Shinji said sadly

"NOT ALLO-" the bartender began in shock before realization hit him and his face twisted in anger "Ohhh, that BITCH"

"Seriously, Shin-man" Souske chuckled in his drunken stupor "ya gotta stop being so pussy whipped bro"

"Says the guy who blindly follows orders from a 16 year old klutz of a captain because she's his girlfriend" Shinji shot back "Besides, I'm not whipped, I'm just-"

"SHINJI" a voice screeched from the door cutting him off

In stomped a very annoyed redhead with murder gleaming in her eyes

"A-Asuka, I-" Shinji began

"I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN ENTIRE 5 MINUTES! FIVE. WHOLE. MINUTES." She bopped him over the head and dragged him by his collar out the doors, nearly bumping into another person making his way inside. He side-stepped them and watched as they disappeared.

"Pussy whipped" was all he said before turning to Cruz "I'm here to advance the plot"

Cruz stared blankly

"Your girl is in the bad part of town, hurry there for a climatic confrontation and even more hilarious cameo appearances"

Cruz sped off, paying no mind to the boy's odd words

"I'll find you Eve"

**THISISTHEFINALTRANSITION**

Hillard leaned against the bar. The bartender handed him a milkshake and smiled

"Meddling again Hillard, You'll get in trouble with the Feds"

"Feds be damned, besides I torture him enough in 'Opposites Attract'. How about the shit storm you're stirring up Wanderer"

The bartender glanced over at Souske, who was currently being chewed out by both a blue haired high school and a younger white haired girl in a military uniform.

"I'm just lucky my bar is so conveniently placed"

**THISISTHEENDOFTHECHAPTER**

**Finally another chapter**

**sorry I was gone for so long again, school does that**

**If anyone is still reading just leave a review saying nice things about me to let me know you are**

**that being said**

**KANAME CHIDORI IS A BITCH**


End file.
